I was so scared to go to college. So scared of that big step, that great change from high school to further education, that I didn’t even want to think about it. It felt like I was being thrusted into something I had no idea how to handle. A deer wandering its way onto the highway, if you will. What is this? Where am I going? I swear, I was home just a minute ago… And then BAM! Hit by a 40 ton semi going 200 miles per hour. Didn’t even see it coming.
It made me too anxious, thinking about the increased responsibility, the free reign I’d have over myself (a good thing this free reign is, yes. But a bird born within the cage believes flying’s a disease). It freaked me out, the very thought of growing up. But, now, I’ve kind of accepted my fate. I really don’t even care anymore about the transition from high school to college, and if I’d adapt to that new life well. I will adapt. I’ve always been able to. No, this is far from being a current concern of mine right now.
The worst part of this whole situation? The part that keeps me lying awake at night? Is the people I’m going to leave behind. Or maybe I shouldn’t say “leave behind.” They’ve left their mark on me, therefore I’ll have them with me always. I’m leaving nobody behind, really. No, what sucks is that I’m not going to see them as often as I did here. Here, I saw these people literally every single day and of course I got used to that. I’ve become accustomed to their faces, their attitudes, their conversation. And, just like that, they’re going to be torn away from me— just as fast as I met them. I did not nearly have enough time with them. It’s so unfair.
Why couldn’t I have met you sooner? I wish I did. Maybe it would have softened the blow because then I’d know more about you. But there is still so much left to say to you, to learn about you. This almost sounds like a goodbye, but it isn’t, I promise. You have my word on this. This is a see-you-later. Because I will be seeing you later, if you’ll have me.
I’m not done with you. We still have the rest of our lives.
