Being a senior has been one of the wildest wake-up calls I’ve had in my life. My younger freshman self wouldn’t believe that I’m on the other side of the struggles I was going through. I don’t think that my younger self would’ve ever been able to picture what my life could have ended up in the three years that I’ve spent walking these halls.
It took my underclassman years of high school for me to realize that I couldn’t base my dreams and goals on what other people wanted me to do with my life. And it barely took my junior year of high school for me to realize that committing to that truth meant putting myself out there and shooting for those things on my own initiative. I learned how to stand up for myself, and with that, I realized that I don’t have to want the same things that others want for me.
Who I am now and the opportunities I have been blessed with are all a testament to the personal growth that has taken place in my life.
My senior year of high school so far has shown me how strong I’ve become. I can handle pressure that would’ve made my thirteen-year-old self crumble. I sometimes still surprise myself with how I can problem-solve in ways I didn’t think I could. I’ve noticed that I now see challenges as minor setbacks rather than world-ending misfortunes. I’ve accepted that there are things I can and can’t control, and that’s okay.
Auditioning for a drum corps color guard this year—and making it—made me realize that I am capable of doing hard things, and actually going through with it turned my world upside down in so many amazing ways. The experience was something I had been working towards for more than five years, and the pressure I was put under terrified me, but through it all, it reminded me why I love to perform. It reminded me why I work so hard, and the people I do it for. Returning to Selma after being on tour dramatically altered my perspective on how I see my life and the people in it. I’m less scared to do things, and I find myself calmer and gentler with myself when I mess up.
I think what’s really special about this season of my life is getting to look back at how scared I was coming onto campus for the first time. How timid I was about taking risks, speaking up for myself, and staying close to the edge in anything I did. I love seeing that I’m older now. My hair is longer, I have a car that I drive now, my features aren’t so baby anymore, and most of all, I have so many new special people in my life that I can’t wait to grow older with.
I still have so much growing to do, and for the first time ever, I’m excited about it. I’m not scared of what could change about myself or what the outcome will be. I know that having faith has growing pains, and this four-year journey has been the longest “trust the process” I’ve had to endure, but it is something that I will treasure forever.
For now, I’m enjoying the person I’m becoming, and the steps that I’m taking that used to feel impossible three years ago. I’m appreciating the people I love who love me, and I’m relearning the things that I find joy in. I’m getting older, and somehow I feel like a little girl again, who used to think that that was a good thing.
