Q: How to get a girlfriend 101?
A: Wow y’all, I’m glad you have faith in my relationship skills. Honestly though, I have no idea how to answer this. I have zero rizz (did I use that right?). Maybe try doing a grand gesture, like grabbing a ladder and climbing up to her window with a cheese platter and a bottle of sparkling water, but make sure you don’t end up running into her sister (sorry, Mr. Castle).
Q: Should I get at my crush?
A: What is it with you people and relationships?!?! I think we should all get at our homework and get them grades up. How ‘bout that for a change? Being smart is cool y’all, I promise.
Q: What does 6-7 mean?
A: Okay I am so glad someone asked because I DON’T KNOW EITHER?!?! Literally so many people in my classes go INSANE over two simple numbers. Like y’all please, I just wanna take my notes without hearing “SIX SEVEN SIX SEVEN” every 30 seconds. But if I really had to guess, it’s probably some “brainrot” term (whatever that really means, seriously what is brainrot?!?!?)
Q: What are your thoughts on wearing Birkenstocks with socks or no socks?
A: If you wear the Birkenstock Clog shoes with no socks, YOU DESERVE JAILTIME…or at least time in the Bear Center. But that’s right, I said it. PLEASE put your toes away, unless you’re wearing sandals. Then I can maybe let you off with a warning. I also just really don’t like seeing feet so maybe I’m biased when I say stick to regular shoes, especially if your feet sweat a lot. Yuck.
