As I Once Was You (A Letter to a Past Self)


To whom it may concern,

I hope you’re doing well. I don’t know what version of you I am speaking to, but I’m the latest version of you. Honestly, we’re kind of like an iPhone. We just get slightly bigger every year and hot for no reason and all around kind of a mess. Still, we’ll swear that we’re better than those who are like Androids.

I’m not gonna tell you all the things you’ll become or accomplish. Mostly because I’ve seen a lot of sci-fi and I’m afraid of ruining our future by showing it to you ahead of time. Instead I’ll teach you the things I wish I had learnt when I was you. 

Don’t be ashamed of your culture, instead embrace it and don’t resent it. Even if it makes you a little slow in the english department. Hold and remember everything that Mami teaches you.               

I know it’s not in your nature to be vulnerable but it’s a valuable asset to hold.

Allow yourself to feel everything you need to and cry. I know it’s not common in our family and the machismo tradition is not solely utilised on men, but traditions are meant to be broken and in the face of oppression, break them little one. You may be too young to understand now but one day, you’ll grow tired of others explaining you your own existence. You must simply stand tall and not be afraid. 

Here’s a valuable lesson I learned far too late: some friends are forever and others come and go, but never let a person hurt you without your consent. You have every right to speak up when you’re wounded and oftentimes they will apologize, but if they come out and attack you for your feelings you have every right to leave. The value of a relationship is not dictated by how much time you wasted on it but rather by how much effort you put into it. And if the effort is not matched, then it is not worth a single grain of sand. 

I’m sorry in advance for all the surprises the universe has planned for you. I will not ruin it, just know this: when it happens, forget the resentment you have towards our family and dive deep into their love for you. The resentment will come and go but they won’t. They may not be around physically, but they’ve always been there emotionally and spiritually. And yes, Mom is a little extra, but don’t hesitate to give our sisters a call, they’ll be there for you more than you can ever imagine. 

We have gone through many different versions of the same person. To whatever version of myself I am speaking to, let me tell you: whatever you’re going through you will get through it. You’ll get through the good and you’ll get through the bad and in those moments, never forget the previous versions of yourself. They helped shape you to the current version of yourself. I can tell you, as I once was you, that you are one of the brightest stars. 

So let your light shine, even if you are a hot mess.