Coming to America on my own might be the scariest thing I’ve ever done. Objectively speaking it is the scariest, but I’ve definitely been more scared before: right before surgery; taking my first zipline; and walking through the haunted house at Liseberg Amusement Park. Still, if I look at the big picture, this adventurous year trumps all else. Walking out of the plane to meet what was to be my new family for the next half year is the most surreal feeling I’ve ever had. The nerves and excitement, and the realization that the year-long dream is reality hits like nothing else.
My first few weeks here I spent adjusting to the time difference, new living situation, new school, and hot weather. Every time I’ve started a new school–elementary school, middle school, high school–I’ve always had friends in my class, I’ve had the security of knowing someone. When I came to Selma High I was all alone. Although it has been hard from time to time, I think being “the new one” is a very valuable experience. It gave me a better understanding of how different people work, the stereotypes, and it forced me out of my comfort zone as I had to take initiative and talk to new people. It also showed me that it will be ok. Give it time and be authentic, and genuine friendships will come. Table-switching at lunch is a big part of the experience, and I am thankful for every table I was invited to.
I quickly learned that calling home is not something you do all the time, even if you want to. The nine-hour time difference made family and friends harder to rely on, and though I used to hate this I have come to realize that it was a blessing in disguise. It gave me no room to lean on what is known and comfortable, but instead pushed me to get out there faster and start making new relations. The friendships I have made this year will stay in my heart forever, and I could not be more grateful. I am so fortunate to have made friends in every class that makes leaving hard. The way classes work here, with a different group of people for every subject, is definitely not something I prefer, but I can appreciate the aspect in having a broader diversity of friends caused by being around more people.
Another place where I found some great friendships was on the soccer field. My whole life I’ve done sports, and I was determined to do the same here in America. I’ve seen the value it holds: in having teammates, staying active, and staying busy. After giving up soccer a few years ago to focus on handball, it was a joy to be back on the grass. As cliché as it may sound, representing the Selma Bears did a great lot in making me feel like a part of the community.
Two other big parts of feeling this sense of belonging have been Leadership and The Clarion. Leadership has introduced me to a bunch of different people, and gotten me more involved in the community through sporting events, rallies, volunteering, and much more. By reporting on community events for The Clarion I got to experience them from an audience perspective too. The most valuable thing about The Clarion for me though is how it has helped me process my experiences. It has given me an opportunity to share my observations about the cultural differences between America and Norway.
My exchange organization, AFS, has provided a social network with others that are going through similar situations. Together with my group, consisting of girls from Denmark, Germany, and France, we’ve been challenged to reflect over social norms and voice our thoughts. Having friends that relate to what I’m going through has made this year less overwhelming. There is also a great comfort in knowing that I will still have these bonds, years ahead and across an ocean from here, because we shared this isolated and special experience.
I’ve been lucky enough to live with two different host families, which has given me varying perspectives and allowed me to appreciate certain aspects of different living situations. One of the biggest lessons of this year is how much I take for granted what I have. It is a hopeless thing to realize, because I know I will repeat it. I want to say that I will appreciate my parents and everyone else more than I have before, but to be very honest I don’t think it will take long before I take them for granted again. A year from now I probably will have forgotten how much I missed my grandma’s cooking and my sister’s laugh, and I will have to relearn this lesson.
Now that my time here is over, I carry a heavy heart. For the people I will leave. For the experiences and the memories, now bittersweet. Where do I keep all my newly gained knowledge? The route from class to class, embedded into my feet. Which American drinks and snacks I like, and which ones I don’t like. The fact that Mr. Castle takes his shoes off in class. The directions for the walk to buy snow cones, an adventure I embark on with my best friend as often as I can.
I have been told that exchange students never really feel at home again when they go back to their home-country, and I think I finally understand that. A piece of me will always stay here, spread across with the people and places I’ve come to love.
So I will keep this year close to my heart, and for the rest of my life anyone who knows me will also know about this small American town, surrounded by fields.
Farewell, beautiful Selma, California.
