This dream starts where all bad things start: school.
I was sitting in my classroom in Jackson Elementary, waiting for my teacher to return. It was a ton of civilized middle schoolers sitting in a 5th grade classroom.
All of a sudden (as tends to happen) a ton of gnomes walked into the room. Now me and my classmates aren’t ones to pry. We just watched them as they walked in, not daring to question the fact that they were literal gnomes.
As I continued to watch them (respectfully) the Earth started shaking. I turned to look at where the vibrations were coming from, only to see something straight out of a supervillain comic. There was a coffin coming out of the ground, with dark smoke accompanying it. Finally, the coffin reached the surface, and opened by itself (dream and supervillain logic).
Out of it came a vampire, wearing a menacing black suit.
He then proceeded to give your typical speech of “Society is terrible and I’m going to make it even more terrible but somehow what I’m doing is right”.
When he finished, he walked back into his coffin, and the coffin proceeded to close up and go right back down into the Earth below it.
At this point, the gnomes behind us weren’t quiet anymore and began to chase after us. I ran outside to the grass, only to be met with even more gnomes, only this time they had bows and arrows.
I wasn’t about to try and fight the gnomes so instead, I continued to run off. I turned the corner and ran towards the fence. At this point the gnomes had gotten many of my classmates, but alas, what was I supposed to do? Stop and help them? We would’ve both died. So I shed a mental tear for them and continued moving forward.
I managed to jump over the fence (I definitely could not do this in real life), and once again I began running. At this point I may have beaten the world record for longest time spent running.
While continuing to go deeper into the neighborhood, I befriended a random guy who was also running. Once again, I shall use the random name generator to give a name to my newfound ally. His name is Eros. Wow…that is not what I was expecting.
As we got deeper into Burnham Street our surroundings began to look more and more like a dark and ominous jungle. There were vines hanging from the trees and the entire place felt humid. Eventually, Eros and I reached a halt. There was a giant lake right in front of us.
I panicked immensely. I STILL don’t know how to swim, and while I know how to climb fences in my dreams, it appears the ability to swim was not granted. I tried to look for an alternative way to escape, but as I looked behind me there were two men catching up to us.
Somewhere along the way it appears the gnomes had turned into men, let’s just pretend that makes sense.
I turned back hoping Eros could be of some help ONLY TO SEE THIS MAN ALREADY SWIMMING AWAY? With no other choice, I dived into the water. I managed to swim for a bit, but alas, there was no plot armor to save me. The two men caught up to me, and pushed me underwater.
Brief pause because EROS DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO HELP ME. He saw the men catching up to me and dipped. The men in my dreams are actually the worst. (I would have done the same as he did but let’s ignore that fact.)
HOWEVER, I didn’t die.
I awoke inside a house, which I assume was a part of the neighborhood I was just in. It was me and this crazy looking lady. (The oh-she’s-going-to-kill-me type crazy for reference.)
She wouldn’t speak, and I was too afraid, so instead I assessed my surroundings.
There in the middle of the living room was a nice little table. The table had a fish tank. AND THE FISH TANK HAD A HUMAN HEAD INSIDE?
Not exactly what you want to see after being captured by the enemy. As I began to silently pray, the lady finally spoke. She got closer to me, and started talking to me about how I had to join their sacred cause, and how if I didn’t I would die.
Now, personally, that was all I needed to hear. I don’t care what you’re doing, I’m in. Enough said. However, in my dreams I am the protagonist. So I guess I have to be stupid. I told her no, that I wouldn’t join her cause.
Enraged, she grabbed a knife out of thin air and dragged it across my stomach, telling me all over again how I would die if I didn’t take her offer.
I then grabbed the knife and stabbed her. I mean, she kept threatening to kill me and the knife was right in front of me. I don’t know what she was expecting. She fell to the ground and I ran to hide under the table. Yes, I had been brave, but one can only be brave for so long.
As I sat under the table trying to figure out what to do, I looked outside the window. There was a guy walking down the street calmly, wearing a Shiratorizawa shirt (for those of you who watch Haikyu!! and know what this is). I pondered whether I should warn him, or if maybe, everything was over and that’s why he wasn’t being attacked.
However, I had jinxed it. Sorry stranger. The second that thought crossed my mind, the two men who had captured me earlier fell from one of the trees and sliced his head off.
I remained still under the table. I don’t even know if I was breathing at that point. Through the window, I saw the men approaching the house. They were talking amongst themselves, wondering why exactly it was taking the women so long to finish me off.
Finally, they reached the door and turned the knob.
Then, I woke up. My dreams just love cliffhangers. My apologies. If you truly wish to know what happened, I’m assuming I died.
