I remember as a child, running to my mom telling her my legs were in pain. She would respond by saying that was me having a growing pain. Growing up, I had received many growth pains through my legs over the years, and although they weren’t fun, they taught me a valuable lesson in appreciating growth, both physically and emotionally. Growing pains aren’t the best thing to experience at the moment, however in the end we are able to see our “growth.” The uncomfortable feeling of muscle aches are similar to the setbacks or failures I’ve experienced through high school.
Now being a senior in her second semester of the school year, reality has hit me that I will soon be leaving all that I’ve known and it’s time to go and explore my options outside of Selma High. “I wish I was older,” was a phrase that I never had used in my childhood, but have heard others say. Ever since I was small I have been known to be very nostalgic and sentimental of everything. Now that I face my final year of high school, it’s safe to say that I have been trying to cherish every moment of this year, despite lacking the motivation to to make the memories.
When I was an underclassman and hearing about senior year I had heard of all the fun activities and special moments in clubs or sports such as senior night, however one thing I was not prepared for was having the feeling of exhaustion take over. My senior year has been filled with so much excitement, however the overwhelming feeling of this all has taken over, leading to exhaustion.
This year has gone much differently than I anticipated as I catch myself dissociating from events that were supposed to be so exciting and memorable. I believe the reason behind my exhaustion and dissociation is caused by me personally struggling with the concept of how close I am to finishing high school. The fear of being thrown into the real world where it’s so much bigger than the community here at the high school is a daunting reality
Stepping into the unknown can be frightening as you can’t predict what is to happen, however I am now coming to terms with how not knowing what the future holds is something that can be exciting. I have the control of deciding whether or not I enjoy my last year.To decide between being filled with memories of anxiety of what’s to come or being excited with the new paths to choose from.
As I have said before, much of my high school experience has felt like a growing pain with the bittersweet moments of knowing I won’t be coming back. Although these “growing pains” were uncomfortable, I was able to find growth in myself from them. As well as the memories good or bad that I had created this year, I will always have them to look back on, which is one piece of advice I would give. Take advantage of all the opportunities presented to you, even if it’s things such as going to a football game or a school dance because at the end of the day they are still memories that you can say you had. These growing pains have prepared and taught me endless lessons and morals that I now am going to carry with me as I begin a new journey of my life.
