My time spent in the education system, a majority of my life, in fact, has been tumultuous, I won’t deny it. I’ve changed in many ways, for good or bad, but genuinely feel I have made significant progress in my maturation. These developments notwithstanding, I cannot help but retain a peculiar sense of anxiety as the realization that my adolescence will be culminating imminently, and that I will be subjected to the terrors of the real world.
When I see old photographs of myself, I am filled with a panging nostalgia. How did this path of life lead me to this point? What could have happened had I done something different? Sure, I have regrets, innumerable regrets which drive me to unsound emotions even as I compose this, Yet am I to be plagued with these stinging memories for the rest of my life, or will I decide with devotion to ensure I have no new haunting reminisces?
Thinking about what might have been leads me to ponder retrospectively. Out of curiosity, as well as fascination and admiration for life, I examine the major decisions that have guided my development. If I had not devoted myself to education, could I have been a great athlete? What if I practiced more seriously soccer, tennis, baseball, and swim? Should I have tried to enjoy my youth more, or did I do so enough? I doubt these could ever be definitively answered.
Now, my friends, I think, are especially prone to this process of thought. I truly appreciate them, and “them” refers to everyone I have had the pleasure of meeting and holding earnest, intelligent (often not, however) conversations with throughout my life in Selma. Still, I hopelessly wonder how different my personality would have been if I had not enjoyed the presence of my current friend group for so long.
Regardless of the aforementioned, I am comforted by the fact that things turned out the way they did. I wouldn’t trade my life for any other, not for a billionaire nor world leader. I have come to respect myself, which I admit itself was an arduous task. On that note, I digress, and recognize that my appearance is particularly unique, and some may not like it, but I do, and that’s all that matters. In actuality, I love it. Just about every nuanced moment of my life I believe has propelled me until now and will indeed continue to motivate me. Therefore, I really don’t care for the criticism I am expected to receive, and have received, about my person.
I have lived well, returning to the main point of my prose, despite the seemingly perpetual struggle faced through my academics and the sense that I’m going postal wherever I hear of the next big project or assignment. Earlier, I acknowledged that regrets have plagued my thoughts, but perhaps that wasn’t the whole truth. Just in the prior paragraph, I claimed that I was fortunate to live as I have. Well, if the past fails to significantly diminish my outlook, what, then, does? A simple answer to such a convoluted question: the future.
I realize that just about every adolescent’s subconscious mind contemplates this very subject, and I am proud to say I am a member of that group. For the longest time (for my seventeen years alive), I believed I wanted to become a physician. This has before changed from a writer, to soldier, to NASA researcher, to professional athlete, to actor, to musician, to singer, to interventional cardiologist, to rheumatologist, and, well, you get the idea. Currently the trend has favored orthopedic oncology, however a recent light has been shone on legal studies which has piqued my interest, to say the least.
I plan on studying human biology, but have already asserted to some that I will make arrangements to minor in history as well, and even contemplated attempting a double-major, both of which are subjects I love. Nevertheless, how am I to decide on one without the proper exposure to either? Yes, I have had high school education in both, but until I gain professional- or, at least, apprentice-level work in these fields, I am worried I will continue to grapple with these inquiries. Still, I have always been open to teaching, maybe as a history professor at a college (even though the job market seems incredibly demoralizing) and jurisprudence (just not pertaining to criminals). I suppose my hard work has paid off in the sense I have options.
I know I could withstand any of these, as I hold a deep infatuation with both human history and anatomy as well as the prospect of instructing others on subjects I enjoy, but it is more about discovering which will make me satisfied.
I want to be able to support my future family and spend meaningful time with them, and relatively any of the industries before mentioned could fulfill that ideal, but if there is anything I have learned upon reminiscing about my past it’s that you can never be certain of your life path. I mentioned previously that my career goals changed rather quickly and quite unpredictably, and I am sure they are destined to again alter during my college years. Ask me to identify my passions in university and I may say something different. Hopefully, by then, I will have mastered the ability to progress through my life with a simple respect for what has been and what could be, but most importantly what is now, and to merely marvel at the wondrous variety of life available.
