The roller coaster that I’ve been on for the past four years is slowly reaching its stop, and I’ve reached the happiest part that I’ve ever been in my life. I feel almost complete as winter is approaching, the leaves are still crisp and changing colors, and I’m walking the halls with a smile on my face. The stress from the past years seems to be getting dimer as I finally complete college applications and realize just how far the future might take me. But I can’t help to feel this sense of dread as moments become memories.
Of course I came into high school thinking I would become this whole new version of myself in no time, but change comes with much more experience, but I tend to be very impatient most times, maybe all the time… (it runs in the family). But the journey isn’t something I entirely regret. Every decision I made, every test I took, and every new experience is what got me here and led me to become the best version of myself that I am most content with. I might have thought I could carry a lot on my shoulders the past few years and did take a crash because of it, but I’m glad it happened because of what I learned from it. This definitely made junior year the worst part of the ride, but also the most fulfilling year as I made cherishable memories with new friends. They are the reason why this outcome wasn’t something that entirely broke me and ruined my highschool experience. It’s something that made me realize that I need to be less hard on myself and put myself above all else at times. All of it feels so long ago now as I continue forward without looking back, only taking the good parts of it all along with me.
I was able to rebuild from there, build a new version of who I want to become, but what I haven’t fully realized is that I’m already becoming this version as I continue to grow in my last year of high school. As the year is close to its end, I hope that I’m half way through to becoming a person who doesn’t regret, fear, and overthink every little thing but instead just rushes forward towards opportunities. I feel nothing but grateful that in my final year, I’ve been able to meet the most wonderful and influential people as well who look just like me in our community of Punjabis who have helped tremendously in my confidence. It has become an eye opening experience that brought so much light into my life, giving me an outlet that I’d never thought I could possess. I wouldn’t have met such amazing people as well if I didn’t branch outside of Selma High School and meet people with very unique and interesting experiences.
But of course, the people I’ve met here are who I really should be crediting for my survival in high school. Without Michael’s quizlets for Mr. Johnson’s, Nina reviewing with me before our psychology quiz, and Brenda forcing the information into my brain before a biology exam, I wouldn’t be keeping myself in check right now. I also wouldn’t be holding onto so much hope for my future if I wasn’t pushed to do so much more by every person I expressed myself to. Now I’m labeled as a “veteran” in the school newspaper, writing a senior column that I’ve been waiting for since last year (very eagerly might I add). In that span of time, I’ve experienced the hardships of sports and extracurriculars, keeping up with work while being on the other side of the world, and having to see someone I’ve become so close with move away for college. They are all experiences that come with the high school experience, that we can grow from and overcome in our own ways. In doing so, it created a stronger version of myself that can overcome more than I could have ever imagined.
I’m no longer a little girl in my favorite Minnie Mouse dress, walking off to my first day of first grade. I’m waking up every morning with the dread of responsibilities, but also with the hope that the outcome of my goals and expectations will be one that won’t disappoint me in the long-run. I’m walking off into a future where I’ve built so much for myself with the support of such incredible people, leaving no regrets behind at the end of the ride.
