Q: Who is Klarissa?

My fellow classmates, peers, teachers, and other creatures, it is time to uncover the truth. I have been tasked with investigating the existence of an anomaly among us: Klarissa. Apparently, plainly saying who she is too boring, so alas, I must put on my detective attire and get the job done. This is a task I will not take lightly, and I hope, through my investigation, to unveil this mystery to us all.
Now, first of all, you’ll notice I said “she,” for there is only one guy in Clarion: Michael Casarez. After watching this man, I think he would have never misspelled Spencer Reid as Spencer Ried in the last issue. So, that will be what rules him out…oh I also don’t believe he would have answered Spencer Reid first and foremost.
Secondly, let us consider that Klarissa had to be chosen last year, which instantly rules out the members who joined this year: Kimberly Bojorqez, Monica Cruz Perez, Jasleen Ganger, Andreah Nieto, Ana Rodriguez Lucas, Nelly Rubio Arteaga, Maja Storeide Soerheim, Karissa Valdez, Kassandra Valdez, and Nina Valdez.
At this moment, I would also like to eliminate Judith Romero from my suspect list, for she was Klarissa last year.
Alas, this leaves me with a reduced and more tangible list of suspects. At which point, my job gets easier, but somehow harder. For I must truly detectivize now. Yes, I am well aware that detecitivize is not a word.
I have my handy dandy list of specimens, and my not at all alarming watching eyes, so now let us think together.
Masielle Pantoja Gaytan, Palak Tohan, Yarektzy Navarro, Aneka Zamora, Avnique Gill, and Jasmeen Kaur are eliminated. For in the April 12th issue of the Clarion, the culprit answered a question about a supposed “Seventeen bias,” after further investigation, Seventeen is a KPOP group. Careful stalking of these individuals has led to the revelation that they do not like KPOP enough to have a bias (favorite). Unfortunately, I was unable to properly determine such preferences for the remaining individuals, so we continue.
Furthermore, I would like to eliminate Evanie Adame from my list of suspects. For Klarissa expressed being scared of opening doors on the December 8th issue, and after following her around (normally), she seemed to hold no reluctance opening any doors.
Finally, the February 9th issue contributed significantly. For, there was only a limited population of students who understood who “vampire Gu-won” was, providing further evidence for the individuals I had eliminated thus far.
The remaining students, Ashley Ruiz Rodriguez, Donna Rubio Arteaga, and Taneisha Martinez Barajas were a bit harder to figure out. I did my best not to give myself away as the detective, so I could not interrogate them irrationally. However, I did stay and observe the sacred “Ask Klarissa” box and continued searching for the guilty party.
Of course, I considered the type of humor, at least for this sort of thing, the possibility of the prior guilty party Judith Romero choosing each individual, among many other things.
Running all of these facts through my system (brain) left me with only one name: Dayanara Yepez Ramirez.
This notion is further supported by the fact that I do remember answering each question for Ask Klarissa. So I think I must be onto something.
Alas, it appears that I am correct, it is me. I am Klarissa.
I don’t think it takes any professional detective to figure such a fact out; I think I was rather obvious.
Either way though, it has been fun answering your questions. I may have given myself away now, but the next Klarissa, my descendant, will carry on my legacy.