Dream Diary—Unsuccessfully Infiltrating a Cult

I think we’re all at least a little bit aware of germs.
Some more than others (please wash your water bottle. You know who you are), but still we all recognize that those little microorganisms are capable of easily harming the human body.
Certain people take this very seriously, seriously enough to start a cult.
And there I was, at that cult meeting.
It’d be no exaggeration to say that the standing man emoji had at this point become an impersonation of me, instead of me being a replica of it. When I tell you I was stumped, I mean I was perplexed, baffled, puzzled, bewildered…okay enough Google synonyms.
Simply put my eyeballs were practically going on a carousel of their own trying to figure out what was going on.
Let me set the scene a little bit more properly for you though. It almost looked like the reception for a wedding. There was a big brown wooden structure, with all of us standing under it. There were relatively 50 people, and at the very front there were two in white clothing. (I ASSURE YOU THIS WAS NOT AN ACTUAL WEDDING I KNOW A CULT MEETING WHEN I’M IN ONE).
Don’t get worried though, I was attending this cult meeting on purpose. My family and I had infiltrated.
LORE EXPLANATION TIME: I guess there were like two different nations? There were certainly more (I mean…I think), but in this case only two are relevant. The one I come from and the one that has been overrun by the germ cult. I suppose we infiltrated because the germ cult is bad and we’re trying to overthrow it? Or maybe we were just investigating so someone else could overthrow it. LETS JUST SUPPOSE that we had a really cool reason for infiltrating.
BACK TO THE DREAM…
At this point the people started putting a small tablet into their mouth, taking it out, and then passing it to the person next to them. This person would repeat the action and it would continue down the line.
NOW I may be dumb sometimes, but I swear that’s completely counterintuitive for a cult that’s supposed to be against germs. Do we agree? Okay, thanks. I thought so.
I’m not one to mind drinking from someone else’s water bottle (…is that bad?), BUT TO TAKE THE FOOD FROM THEIR MOUTH AND PUT IT IN MINE? That certainly must somehow be a violation of the Bill of Rights.
Luckily, the dream had a cinematic cut and now I was in the forest.
Unluckily, I had to fight Hange from Attack on Titan. Why? Probably because she was going to kill me, everyone in my dreams seems to have at least an ounce of murderous intent. However, apparently Hange is not one to entertain a fair fight. BECAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN a ton of people spawn out of the bushes like little kernels popping into full-fledged popcorn?!
One of the guys instantly shot me, and I fell to the floor like a graceful autumn leaf (actually I just poofed down but let us pretend). There was a 2-inch black circle in my neck through which blood was leaking out like my period on cycle day 2.
Apparently, the man who shot me realized that the feminists would likely come after him, so he ran over to me and started healing the wound. He quickly bandaged it up and for some reason that just worked.
And then…I woke up.
Instantly I grabbed my phone and made my way to the living room. I sat down on the couch and practically ran to the group chat that has all my friends. Instantly I began to type and tell them about all the things that had happened in my dream, and yet…something felt off. I felt a small sting on my neck and I reached up to touch it. Only to feel a strange sort of texture…certainly the lack of lotion hadn’t made my skin THAT bad. I tugged a bit at it and my heart halted, it was the bandages. I had been shot.
AND THEN I WOKE UP.
Subtle reminder to wash your water bottles, but don’t go join any germ cults.