Ask Klarissa

Klarissa, Reporter

Q: How do I ruin someone’s Valentine’s Day? (I hate happy relationships.)
A: First of all, same. Second, buy all the chocolates in the world. That way, no chocolates for anyone.

Q: Dear Klarissa, would you survive the zombie apocalypse? Why or why not?
A: Honestly I’d make it. Why? because I’d befriend the zombies. I’d offer skin care products because I KNOW for a fact they have not moisturized in days. Sunscreen time besties! Make sure to look at our student debate for more tips on this topic, they know more than I do.

Q: Are hotdogs a sandwich?
A: I never thought of this and now I’m extremely uncomfortable by this question. Anyways, I say no because sandwiches have lettuce and I’m hoping you don’t add lettuce to your hotdogs… No lettuce = not a sandwich.

Q: What is the best way to cope after getting your heart broken?
A: Gilmore Girls, Season 1, Ep. 17 7:47

Q: Do you play sports? If yeah, what sports do you play? [Who are you really?]
A: If being a hater is a sport, then yeah I do play sports. I actually have so many D1 offers it’s crazy. Who am I? Your number one hater.

Q: In a relationship, what would you say is the most important thing that they would both need to do for it to last long?
A: I know everyone says this, but communication is literally key guys! Having trust is also a big one. Basically if you have something bothering you, tell your partner. On second thought, why are you asking ME? I’m still mentally dating Ross Lynch since my ripe age of seven.