Vampires vs. The Bronx. Review: Predictable Fun

Vampirez vs. the Bronx. was released on Netflix on October 2, 2020 and was written and directed by Osmany Rodriguez. It tells a predictable tale that we’ve all heard one too many times. Its predictability stems from its inability to properly place the rules of the reality of its world. The boys learn the rules in how to defeat a vampire far too quick. This makes the audience subconsciously know they will win with no problems.

The story takes you through Miguel’s struggle to get his neighbors engaged in a party he’s throwing to save Tony’s bodega. Many small businesses have been getting bought out by a company called Murnau Properties, and Miguel is trying to stop that from happening. All the while he discovers the people doing the buying are vampires. So his friends, Bobby, Luis and him stop the vampires and save the neighborhood. 

The movie does a good enough job with the pacing to make it so it’s exciting and builds up tension, but the conflicts the characters face themselves are not fleshed out and by extension makes the viewer less inclined to believe them.

Bobby’s struggle is one more interesting than vampires. He is deciding whether or not to become a gang member but during his encounters with said gang members, there is never any reason for the audience to believe he would ever join them. The movie doesn’t show his home life and why he might want to join Henny in the gang, the only glimpse is that it’s a path once followed by his father so his mother expects him to join as well. 

Some things I did enjoy were the vampires’ design. Their costumes are simple but to the point, like a loud whisper. The leader of the vampires is the only female vampire and her costume is the best. I have to commend them for the faces as well. In their vampire form their faces turn to an ugly thing not to be messed with. I especially like that the female vampire does not use her “ugly” or “true” face even while in vampire form until absolutely necessary. While the rest of the vampires immediately show their “true face” she continues to show a human face even as she corners her prey, showing her confidence. 

Perhaps the best part of the movie is its look at gentrification. The vampires could be a metaphor for the process of gentrification and the way in which the wealthy treat the poor, but unfortunately as the movie goes on, the metaphor is lost and no longer focuses on gentrification but rather on the vampires and the ways to fight them which has nothing to do with economical status. 

All in all, I think Vampires vs. the Bronx. is predictable fun. It’s a good movie to watch with siblings and if they are much younger than you, scare them into believing this can actually happen. It is not a movie meant to be taken seriously, or a movie meant to be seriously analyzed, but it’s good enough for spooky season. Get a bucket of popcorn and candy corn and get yourself in the Halloween mood.