Ask Klarissa

Klarissa, Reporter

Long time, no see guys. How are y’all doing? New year, new sarcasm brewing in my mind. So, let’s answer some questions. 

 

Klarissa… 

  • I have fallen and I can’t seem to get up.
    Are you making a joke? Because if ‘yes,’ that’s actually a felony. I am the only one allowed to crack and pack jokes. 
  • Your most controversial opinion?
    I believe my opinions are not controversial, just too advanced for the general public. I’m just kidding… or am I? Anyways, it would definitely be missionary trips being rooted in bigotry and racism, regardless of well-meaning intentions. 
  • Fastest way to get a boyfriend? 

I don’t mean to be judgemental—of course I do—but why on Earth is a man your #1 priority? Do better, girl. I believe in you. 

  • It’s the first week back, and I am already behind. Tips?
    At this point, just embrace it. 
  • Where do you see yourself in four years?
    Happy. I used to have these intricate plans for my future, but as I get closer to approaching my adult years, I’ve realized my goal in life should be to be happy, not successful. Although, I wouldn’t hate it if I get lucky enough to have both.